I have to be honest…..I am currently reading in the Old Testatement and think to myself "These Israelites are a bunch of idiots!!"  I mean seriously, they were witnesses to all the plagues that the Lord set before Pharaoh…they were a witness to Moses parting the Red Sea….they saw manna fall from the sky….and so on and so on yet  it tells us several times "they grumbled against the Lord."  They said they thought it would be better had they died in Egypt as opposed to being where they were.  And where they were was a place where God took the form of a cloud to guide them by day and by fire at night.  He was as physically present with them as any other time.  

Many of you are aware by now that our family will be returning to the States this year.  We have prayed hard over this and feel this chapter of our lives sadly coming to a close.  The journey it took to get us here is the same as the Old Testament Israelites to me.  We had our Red Sea moments and witnessed first hand the amazing power of God in situations we thought were "too much for God."  We saw Him work things out so perfectly in His timing and in His way….better than we could have ever planned ourselves.

Yet as we begin this new journey in our lives and don't have all the answers at the moment, I start to have those thoughts of "Why did God bring us all the way to South Africa just to return to the US with nothing, without a plan, without any clue where we will live or work or send our kids to school."  I have my moments of human doubt where I want to begin planning and seeking my own plans, you know, just in case God doesn't show up.

In Joshua, chapter 4, he has each tribe bring a stone from the Jordan (where it was dry in order for them to cross over) and place it where they are as a memorial to their children, as a witness to what the Lord did that day for the Israelites.  

Some days I know I forget about my pile of rocks.  I forgot about all the moments in my Christian life where God showed up in some amazing ways.  I seem to forget all the times He carried me in situations that I could have never handled on my own.  I forget the times He allowed me to fall only to find I was closer to Him than ever before.

In these days of darkness….glorious darkness of having to completely rely on Him again to light our path…to show us HIS way for our lives….I know I can rest on my pile of rocks….piles of His faithfulness and love.

I do ask that you pray for us.  Pray that we will continue to seek His plan…His path…His purpose and that we not forget our pile of rocks and panic when we don't seem to know any answers.

Brooke

Let me start with a simple apology….I begin writing this and I see two unpublished blogs we just never got around to finishing…by we, I mean me, and Tate reminds me often I never sent them so…sorry.  Shame, I guess life was hectic and I just got busy or it could be I am just getting older and I forgot….I hope you will think the first of me.

We are three months back into life after being home for our first furlough visit.  This month represents a lot in where we have come and where we are going.  We have 12 months until our Visa expires which brings about many questions and a lot of questions……daily.  

This time in my life two years ago we were on the journey preparing to come here.  We had sold our house, moved into an apartment, busy trying to raise support for our three years and preparing to leave for Mission Training in Colorado.  We were trying to imagine living a life on a different continent away from the support and familiarity we had know for the last thirty-something years. We were struggling with how are kids would transition, would they make friends, would we make friends and so on and so forth.  I was terrified!

A friend recently sent me a blog about a family who felt Gods call to move them from their farm life to city life and putting their kids in inner city schools and I just loved a quote from her blog…she is writing about the journey of moving her family…

I love how she puts this….there were so many times for us on the journey it wasn't clear…we were trusting God with some really BIG things in our eyes.  I can remember crying over all the "loses" I felt I was going to 
encounter.  

We have been here in South Africa almost 2 years now…and yes a lot of days feel like we are still walking in blind faith as we ask God many questions.  The ironic part is as we get questions often about what comes next and do we move back at the end of our Visa, its hard to imagine coming back to the States…the place I held too so tightly before coming here….

Do not hear me wrong, I have not aced this journey of faith by any means…every day is a struggle and a prayer to God to have HIS will in my life.  I easily slide back into making plans for myselfand my family in my heart before I actually lay it before the feet of the Lord.  But I can say with certainty that I know in my heart, wherever He calls us next and to whatever life He wants us live I KNOW He is holding our hands and walking with us and we will NEVER be more secure.